I Believe...

Stealing the idea from a few other blogs... I thought it looked like fun!

I believe that life without pizza is not a life I want to live. 

I believe pizza without cheese is impostor pizza... and does not get to count as pizza. 

I believe that life insurance makes the threshold of how much someone is willing to put up with to live with you... a little lower.  (a blog will soon follow about this particular issue!)

I believe that anyone that smiles while running should be run over with a car.

I believe that spotless houses are filled with people that missed the point of living.

I believe that even when life does give you lemons... you can turn them into a festive drink and get through it! 

I believe that wine is the key to sanity. 

I believe that regardless of how much the food snobs amongst us like to grumble about the Olive Garden that their bread sticks and salad are a reason to go on.  The grated cheese that falls from the spiffy self contained grater?  Well THAT is a reason to do back flips.

I believe that all women are beautiful, but all behinds are not.  If your behind is covered in cellulite... COVER IT! 

I believe booty shorts are not meant for anyone over 30, regardless of how toned your thighs are.

I believe that there are going to be a lot of people very surprised when they get to heaven and see that, yes, THOSE people are there too. 

I believe we are all made in His image... but He didn't have babies pop out of His body... so if I want a tummy tuck and a boob job, He will understand. 

I believe that tattoos are rarely appreciated for an entire lifetime.  A rose vine around the ankle is not quite so great when a curious grandchild asks what the saggy ink is. 

I believe that starting when I can no longer keep my body parts in the same general area that they are supposed to be in, I am going to let loose and eat the world!  If I am buried in anything short of a double wide casket... something has gone awry! 

I believe that gay people will not only be in heaven... but they will decorate it too! 

I believe that Tequila and clothes truly do not go together... which is why I stopped drinking Tequila in public. 

I believe that some people like being miserable. 

I believe that the Bachelor, Bachelorette, and Bachelor Pad are truly the most fun the big screen in front of me has to offer!

I believe that curly fries are a gift. 

I believe cheese cake is the closest we are going to get to God, this side of heaven. 

I believe that having 3 very spoiled but truly happy children is okay. 

I believe that 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag is a funny fricking movie...and I am lost at why everyone else hates it. 

I believe that people who spend millions of dollars on art that my dog could create... need help.

I believe that the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills look like plastic, expressionless ducks.  They are however great entertainment!

I believe that regardless of what I throw away today, I will think of a use for it tomorrow. 

I believe that women should not lead our country.  I had a particularly bad case of PMS last week and would have wiped half the country off the face of the earth if given the opportunity. 

I believe... Im out of beliefs!  lol.