Life with We3Me

AKA as my husband. 

It was about a year ago that I screamed, "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" while trying to get over a gate after a particularly painful workout... and Rusty answered with, "Don't take my mother's name in vain, woman!" 

After I moved away from the windows (in case lightening was being aimed my way).  I exclaimed, "RUSTY!  Be ashamed!" 

That was all he needed. 

The Holy Trinity has taken up residence in my house.  Err... a man with a God complex has taken up residence in my house??

It never gets dull around here.  We live in the deep south.  Do you know how many bumper stickers we pass on the average day that declare, JESUS IS LORD!  Rusty without missing a second will comment, "Thank you!"  or "It is true!"  or "I really prefer, Prince of Peace." 

There is the occasional Darwin fish that you see, which prompts the response of, "Repent my child! The end is near!" 

It has become quite a part of our lives.  I can't help it... it cracks me up everytime. 

The other week that horrible church was on the news.  They were protesting another funeral with signs that read, "Die Fags!  Burn in Hell!"  and other horrible grotesque things.  Rusty looked at me all perplexed.  I shrugged thinking he was equally disgusted.  He waited a second and said, "Now that is just stupid.  If I hate all gay people... who would decorate heaven for me?  Doing an all white and gold theme is very challenging to get just right without making it look like a giant toga party!"

I mean seriously... how do you respond to that without laughing?

We were standing in line in Walmart last week.  The lady in front of us was about 300 pounds and was wearing shorts that clearly showed us where her daughter came from everytime she moved/bended/hiccuped.  I got lost starring... too traumatized to turn away.  Rusty, as luck would have it, saw a track that someone had placed in front of Cosmopolitan.  The cover said in big letters, "FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE."  He pointed it out to me and then giggled as he glanced at the woman in front of us who was crouched over looking at a snickers bar.  "See, Even I have a sense of humor!"

About a week or two ago, Tabor asked why the words Jesus spoke in the Bible were red.  Rusty responded (to me... obviously not Tabor), "You know, I don't know!  I told them I prefer blue!" 

We were watching a show about multiple personalities.  I said that I just couldn't imagine having more then one person in my head.  Rusty said, "Well, it was very busy at first... but now we keep each other company."  I looked at him funny.  His response, "We3Me." 

I was irritated at him the other day, he looked at me and yelled (loud enough to make me jump and nearly choke), "BE GONE SATAN!"

In the kitchen the other night he was starring at the water running in the sink.  I kept seeing him blink.  I asked if he was okay.  "Just turning the water into wine."  (Now if he ever gets that one... I may just fall to the ground and wash his feet!)

The other night, we were having a wild thunder storm.  Crazy lightening.  Rain was falling sideways.  Tabor asked about what made rain.  I said, "I guess the angels are crying."  Rusty whispered (out of ear shot of the kids), "They spend all day with me!  What on earth is there to cry about?"

Oh dear.  The life we lead.  It is really no wonder that we have 3 crazy kids... is it??  

What do you do to fix a man who thinks he is God... the Father, Son, AND Holy Ghost?!!  I wonder if holy water would have an effect?  It would probably boil. 


Can blogs have disclaimers?  Here is mine:  We both believe in the real God, the real Jesus and the real Heaven.  Rusty is just crazy and likes to make me laugh.  Which for some reason this always does.  I swear... it is all about getting a reaction from me and that he certainly doesn't mean any of it.  Really.